Ironman Is...

Complements of Heather Whitaker-Maloy on April 1st...

• Going out for burgers when your company provides soup and salad for lunch.
• Patiently waiting while your teammate plunges the toilet. And not even thinking that's weird.
• Giving out gold stars to your co-worker for the detailed description of the 2 awesome miles he ran on the treadmill.
• Continuing to thoroughly enjoy your meal as your teammate graphically explains his/her GI issues.
• Explaining that your workout at 5:30 means AM not PM, and "Yes, the marathon is still 26.2 miles" and"Yes, it's 140.6 miles....all in one day."
• Honestly admitting that a trip to Stop and Shop is the highlight of one's Saturday.
• Watching the sun rise over the valley while the rest of the world is soundly sleeping snug in a warm bed. And knowing you're the lucky one.
• Sometimes remarkably like being a 1950's housewife. Laundry, laundry and more laundry. Groceries, groceries and more groceries.
• Your definition of reality TV is the Weather Channel.
• Thinking that a 2 hour run is next to nothing, but 2 hours of couch time on a Sunday is an eternity.
• Eating dinner standing in your kitchen, while you stretch...more than twice a week.
• Wishing excel had a better system to calculate hours, minutes and seconds....and the ability to calculate pace!
• Laughing to yourself when you overhear a co-worker describe her lo-carb diet as you shop for Carbo-Pro on the internet.
• Hoping that your IT department doesn't check your internet history and find the searches on saddle sores, black toenails and cures ingrown hair.
• Digging deep to find some digity on that last Godzilla repeat and discovering that there's a old demon inside waiting to chase you up the hill...or there isn't a demon and you're all alone with your just heartbeat ringing in your ears. And that either way, it's really hard. But you still get to the top...
• Contemplating the logistics of a nap in your office bathroom stall.
• Being lost without your training plan. Really. Lost.
• Answering the question again, "Oh, an Ironman! Isn't that the one in Hawaii?" Remembering back to when you started triathlons, people asking, "Oh, a triathlon! Isn't that the one in Hawaii?"
• Secretly hoping that no one asks about the bathroom facilities on the bike course, because you'll have to explain how you plan to just pee in your shorts.
• Learning anatomy and physiology through your own injuries.
• HR, BPM, MPH, ITB, MTP, WTP, IM, HIM, PSI don't make you say, "What?!"
• Getting teary as you imagine your cheering section on race day.
• Getting tearier as you imagine your teammates cheering for you on your last lap of Mirror Lake Drive.
• Controlling the fear of race day and also controlling the fear of the emptiness and loneliness that you know will follow.

Ironman is only 110 day away!

Endurance Events

I can't believe he is over a week old and I haven't made an official announcement celebrating the arrival of Nolan Riley Lingle. The little man was born on Wednesday, March 26th at 1:17pm. What an amazing experience it was to share with my sister. I was an official leg holder so I got to witness the sheer agony and bliss of child birth. Oyyyyy!

While Sarah was in labor I kept thinking… you have to remember this… the girls will want a detailed report, blow by blow. Why should child birth be treated any differently than running a marathon or completing a triathlon? A full detailed race report needed to be completed post baby!

Well, let’s just say that that didn’t happen. I’ve committed what I saw, what I heard and what I smelled to memory (yes, child birth has a very distinct smell)… believe you me. But the feeling of true happiness and joy I felt while holding my nephew made all the other stuff I saw earlier seem insignificant. It was this experience that led me to believe that what comes after the baby arrives far outweighs what a woman goes through during labor.

Call me crazy but there are many things about having a baby that seem pretty similar to what I may experience on IM day.

• Labor can last for hours… so will my Ironman.
• As much as I think I'm going to smell like roses, I know I won't. Labor certainly didn't!
• Both labor and an Ironman take a certain amount of energy leaving one exhausted by the end.
• There will be a certain level of pain and misery followed by great satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment.
• The probability exists that I may say mean things to people I love because the pain is unbearable. Sarah certainly bit her tong.
• After many hours of ShotBloks, Gu's, Gatorade and other endurance sports drinks I will fantasize about my next real meal. All Sarah could talk about was donuts.
• If the going gets tough on event day, I'll tell myself that I will never do another Ironman. However, I know there is a high degree of probability that I will - the same way a women will have another baby!